How one possibly deals with grief? When thrown into the labyrinth of what happened and what could have happened instead, we certainly struggle to remain unmoved. The inevitable heartaches are followed by the numbness of the senses, as we lose ourselves in the depths of despondency never wishing to see the daylight again. The five stages of grief - denial, depression, anger, bargaining and acceptance-were first introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a psychiatrist in her 1969 publication, On Death and Dying. This theory allowed Claire Tomalin, the biographer of Thomas Hardy to take a closer look at the writer and the series of publications immersed in grief and depression owing to his wife's death.
Till my graduate year, I knew Hardy for his Wessex novels. Rural realism, Victorian sensibilities and the change in landscape with Industrialisation were woven into the plot of his novels. He was quite the shake-up! Discouraged over the burnt copy of Jude the Obscure, he gave up fiction writing; making Jude his last work of fiction. He was way ahead of his times, undoubtedly. But, 8 years later, as I look inside of me more, I peel different layers of emotions more fragile and complex. Tainted and somehow intertwined with personal grief and loss, Hardy is not impenetrable, not distant but a sad mass slowly decaying.
Poems of 1912-1913 are a testimony of Hardy's extended period of grief and his estrangement from the world. In Twenty-one poems in total, Hardy's gloom is inextricably linked with remorse at the lack of proper ceremony before the final goodbyes. His denial over the loss of his wife is intense. More so, because of the indifference that had come to define their marriage. The bitterness in their strained relationship makes him go back in time to recapture those sweet memories unblemished.
Love is accompanied by deception. It is harsh for Hardy as well as Emma to have met with disillusionment. He slips into depression when faced with the disenchantment that the downfall of marriage brought. The all-pervading darkness in the poems heightens the depressed mood.
The stench of fragrant promises in the rotten marriage and the anger over what love and life could have been laid bare the unfairness of life. His marital hardships were insurmountable in the face of youthful love. The tension that built up for nearly forty years takes the reader into confidence with the fact that the two still shared a connection in hatred if not love.
When Emma died of a stroke in 1912, Hardy was left with deep regret often falling into supplications for her to return. The series of bargaining with the apparition in The Voice to make amends whilst each had a chance echo throughout the poem.
In 'The Photograph', Hardy finds a clear out. He finds an old photograph of a woman and sets it on a coal fire. This act puts behind the difficult journey towards acceptance. The memory of Emma still haunts her, but as she is devoured in flame; he comes to terms with losing her.
Following Emma's death, Hardy burnt a page-by-page manuscript of hers What I Think of My Husband. Did Hardy have something to do with her death? Or was it inner torment? Elizabeth Lowry's ' The Chosen' is set in Max Gate after the sudden death of Emma. It examines the aftermath of the unexpected loss and the fractures in marriage. Hardy shaken to the core resorts to soul-searching and reexamines the meaning of art and life.